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Johnny Kilpatrick
Dead rising johnny k bust
Location Location icon  Palisades Mall - KokoNutz Sports Town (underneath)
Mission Tape It or Die 1
Tape It or Die 2
Weapon(s) Dead rising attack icon  Donkey Lamp
Join Prestige points icon  31,250[1]
Successful
Escort
Prestige points icon   62,500[1]
Notebook Eccentric plumber of Tape It Or Die. Found underneath KokoNutz Sports Town in Palisades Mall.
Age 29
Dead Rising 2 Survivors
For the Dead Rising 2 psychopath in the Militia Men mission, see Johnny James.

Johnny Kilpatrick also known as Johnny Pipes and Johnathon is a Dead Rising 2 survivor and one of the four Tape It Or Die bloggers.[2]

Wallace won two tickets in a radio contest to Terror is Reality in Fortune City, then teased the group. Gretchen exclaimed:

"Wallace - You waved those tickets at our face like piece of meat dangling before a pack of starving wolves. You're the oldest amongst us, and you're acting like a first-grader goading kindergartners into a pile of mud."

She then bought two extra tickets so all four could attend.[3][4]

The four were live blogging during Terror is Reality arena when an explosion breached the zombie enclosure. They were all seperated, but they eventually were reunited and took shelter in an old TV production studio in a backroom behind KokoNutz Sports Town in Palisades Mall.[5][6][7]

Johnny was buying nachos when the Terror is Reality breach occurred. He got separated from the others. In his blog he said he would spend the night in "Prospect Park", which according to a later blog is Fortune Park.[8][9]

PersonalityEdit

Johnny's blogs indicates that he lacks empathy towards others and has an extreme love of violence:

In reference to Fortune City after the outbreak, "This place is paradise! Okay, maybe not a Polynesian-style paradise. Or a gangsta's paradise. Instead, it's just a kinda feel-good paradise. Kinda like Pleasure Island from Pinocchio. Except no donkey transformation. That'd suck...Where else can you just take a sword from somebody's store? Without paying for it? And then use that sword to slice that store owner in half. And be considered a hero for it? Or shooting cops with their own guns. Again, I'm the hero. And I don't even need diplomatic immunity. That's paradise."[10]
" I walk up to the zombie. I smile at it (to be polite). Then smash its head in. What a rush! A bit messy, but exhilarating! So, I figure I the show's over. I should leave. But there's more zombies in my way! Let me tell you, it redefined the word "joygasm"."[8]

Zombie BreachEdit

Johnny wrote a hilarious blog during the breach:

Johnny Pipes blog during the zombie breach
Dead rising johnny k
You'll never guess what happened! Well, maybe you will. Might have been on the news. Not sure; stuff's not working here. But there was a bomb! Zombies got out. Started attacking everyone. Bunch of people dying. Ain't that a kick?

I was getting nachos when the bomb went off. Well, in line to get nachos. I hear the explosion. Then the screams. Everyone's looking at the TVs hung up on the wall. Not much to see; it's gone all static. (So I miss the explosion. Bummer, that.) Then the people start running. All over the place.

People in line start running, too. I figure this is my chance to get my nachos. But no! The son-of-a-bitch concessionaire shuts that metal grate thing on me. I tell him to give me some nachos, or at least a can of Red Bull. He doesn't. Instead, he just closes some wooden panels behind the grate.

So yeah. I never got my nachos. What a pisser! In fact, that was the worst part about all last night.

Anyhoo, I go to the bathroom. After all, I'm up anyway. No line, either. Everyone's running. So, I do my thing. Wash my hands. And I see it out of the corner of my eye. A zombie walks by the bathroom door.

Little gears whir in my head.

I reach under the sink. Twist off the couplings. (A good plumber can do that without tools.) Rip out the pipe. Give it a quick inspection. 5/8" inner diameter. Lead (odd; that's been illegal for 40 years). I walk up to the zombie. I smile at it (to be polite). Then smash its head in. What a rush! A bit messy, but exhilarating!

So, I figure I the show's over. I should leave. But there's more zombies in my way! Let me tell you, it redefined the word "joygasm".

Long story short, I made it out of there. And more than a few zombies died by that pipe alone. Semper Fi, good pipe! Thing is, there's still boatloads of zombies still around. Like the whole town got infected in a few hours. And they're so killable, and it's so satisfying! It's like murder, but legal!

So, yeah. This place is totally dead now. And yet, it feels more alive somehow. I do wonder about everyone else, though. It'd kinda suck if all my TIOD buddies were dead, y'know?

Anyhoo, I found a good place to hole up. Nice and cozy. If anyone's still alive - and reading this - you're welcome to join me. I'll be in Prospect Park tonight. At the middle point. Around midnight or so. Probably a lot of zombies.

Oh, and this part pains me: no plumbing services for a bit, guys. Gonna be occupied.[8]


InventionsEdit

Johnny invented the:

  1. Laser Sword
  2. Blitzkrieg

See the respective articles for more information.

TriviaEdit

ImagesEdit

[[File: |200x120px]]

See alsoEdit

NotesEdit

  1. a b PS3 Dead Rising 2 - Perfect Walkthrough - Part 57: Tape it or Die Crew Actual Rescue Mission, youtube, (October 4, 2010).
  2. This is Embarrassing, Tape it or Die, (July 16, 2010). Refers to Johnny and Johnathon
  3. Peregrine, Gretchen. I Have Terror is Reality Tickets, Tape it or Die, (July 2010). Wallace wins two tickets
  4. This is Embarrassing, Tape it or Die, (July 16, 2010). Gretchen buys two more tickets
  5. Peregrine, Gretchen. Co-operating to survive, Tape it or Die, (August 16, 2010).
  6. Kilpatrick, Johnny. #Liveblogging: *Actually* Live!! *Actually* at TiR!! *Actually* Now!, Tape it or Die, (August 11, 2010).
  7. Peregrine, Gretchen. everyone out there, olease help me!!!, Tape it or Die, (August 12, 2010). Gretchen separated after blast, "can't stop long./ separated. nobopdes aroubnd. phone gbne. i dont knwo where anybody is."
  8. a b c Kilpatrick, Johnny. The Low-Down on the Haps!, Tape it or Die, (August 12, 2010).
  9. Kilpatrick, Johnny, Benches Ain't For Sitting! They're for Working! So Let's Get to Work! Tape it or Die, (August 23, 2010). "Take Prospect Park, for one. There's three workbenches around there. In a park! What's the rationale? "That tree's lookin' a bit shabby. Let's fine-tune it!" But I'm not complaining! Now, of the three, I'd say my favorite is the one right in the far southeast corner. Right next to the entrance to the Atlantica Casino." With this image: [1]
  10. Kilpatrick, Johnny. Hey folks! Johnny Pipes here!, Tape It Or Die, (September 23, 2010).

External linksEdit

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